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Cretaceous vs Captain Gutt
IMG_20190314_202523.jpg|Ishan a.k.a Shall-I Untitled_42.jpg|Majinparasite Ishan a.k.a Shall-I's sixth what-if death battle. Description The Ice Age franchise has a number of villians. It's time to see who would win a fight between two of the franchise's water-based villians! Interlude Wiz : The Ice Age. One of the most fascinating geological times the planet has seen. Boomstick : And you know what's even crazier? An animated film series about the Ice Age with sentient, talking animals and complete cartoonism! Wiz : Yes, and each movie in the franchise has at least one appealing main antagonist. Boomstick : Want more? Some of these villians are water guys! Wiz : Like Cretaceous, the unfrozen itchyosaur. Boomstick : And Captain Gutt, the self-proclaimed "Master of the Seas"! He's Wiz and I am Boomstick! Wiz : And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win - Boomstick : A death battle. Cretaceous Wiz : When the Ice Age began softening down, the ice naturally began melting. All the animals began thriving and playing about taking advantage of their warmer world. Boomstick : Well, that's definitely not surprising! The melting created a lot of fun ice slides, pools of water and other awesome stuff! Wiz : Surprisingly though, things weren't really so bright and beautiful. Due to warnings from a vulture, the animals realised they had to evade an incoming flood. Boomstick : Not perilous enough? Well, two big prehistoric reptilian carnivores frozen in ice broke out. And boy, were they really famished. Well, well, the mammals were on the menu now! Poor Stu the Glyptodon. Wiz : These monsters are officially called Cretaceous and Maelstrom. The former refers to the sleek, smaller one while the latter refers to the bulky, bigger one. Cretaceous is frozen in the ice as the camera is close up on him...until he frighteningly moves one eye. Boomstick : Wow, look at them! What the heck exactly are they, Wiz? Wiz : Cretaceous is an ichyosaur, a Cymbospondylus to be exact, while Maelstrom is a pliosaur. Neither of them really match their real life counterparts. Boomstick : Cool! These reptiles persistently pursued the protagonists. Two bad despite being awesome, they only appeared in a small handful of scenes. Wiz : Actually they would have hindered the plot, Boomstick. Anyways, in the final battle, Manny the Mammoth tricked them into saving Ellie by accident. Boomstick : Upon which they both got crushed by rocks. Wiz : Comparing Cretaceous to Manny's size, we can estimate that he is somewhere around 17 feet long and roughly 1,600-1,700 pounds in weight. Boomstick : While obviously smaller and weaker than his partner Maelstrom, he is still strong enough to drag Manny underwater for a considerable distance, albeit while in the water. And Manny weighs about 11 tons. Wiz : His sleek and streamlined built makes him a fast swimmer. Plus, he's not only fast, he's also pretty agile and maneuverable in the water. Boomstick : Speaking of speed - related terms, this beast is quite athletic, capable of making high jumps out of the water like a dolphin - only unlike a dolphin he's a ravenous, aggressive predator who wants to eat you! Wiz : This includes leaps onto land. Cretaceous ' front limbs help him move on land while his back fins help to propell him through the water. Boomstick : And he definitely isn't slow and cumbersome on land either! Not as fast as in the water, obviously, but fast enough to give you some dangerous trouble. Manny is calming down on an ice block when Cretaceous suddenly springs out of the water and attacks him. Wiz : Cret's durability is worth mentioning, seeing he shrugged off getting thrown by Manny dozens of yards away and then hitting the top of an iceberg. Boomstick : When Cret gets to you, he has his obvious weapons at the ready - his jaws and teeth, of course. Wiz : Seeing his jaws are similar to those of a crocodile, which has the strongest bite force of any living animal, it's safe to assume they deliver a powerful bite force as well. Certainly not quite as powerful, but still deadly. But this reptile is not unstoppable. Boomstick : Like I said, while still a quick and agile creature on land, he's inferior to when he is in water. Not that he's the smartest thing around either. Wiz : Indeed, he really depends on aggression and instinct rather than brains. When he got hit by the rocks at the end, he just stayed under them while they descended pretty slowly rather than moving out of the way. Boomstick : But if this creature picks you for lunch, YOU are gonna have to move out of the way! Manny, when faced by Cretaceous is sliding back on an iceberg, making it tip over due to his massive weight. Taking advantage of this, Cret pounces on his victim, who closes his eyes in terror. Manny then opens them and finds his attacker with his jaws stuck on his tusks. Captian Gutt Wiz Scrat the saber-toothed squirrel - an animal which never even existed, by the way - has had nutty adventures - both figuratively and literally - in every Ice Age movie. Boomstick : In the fourth and the fifth movie though, this damn critter was the one responsible for all the troubles. Like in this case he somehow fell to the center of the earth - ''' Wiz : Which realistically is about 7,000 °C - '''Boomstick : Spun it around and caused freaking CONTINENTAL DRIFT!!! How?!? Wiz : This tectonic break up caused the main characters to be separated from their homes and end up sailing on the seas. Boomstick : Not perilous enough? Well, there was an enormous iceberg ship which hoarded pirate animals!!! Wiz : And they were led by a very large prehistoric ape known as...Captain Gutt. Gutt : Ahoy, down there! How lucky of you! You know these waters are infested with pirates! Right boys? Glad we found you before they did. Captain Gutt here to help. Boomstick : Great! Exactly what species is he, Wiz? Wiz : He is a Gigantopeticus, a huge prehistoric ape most closely related to an orangutan. Boomstick : Orangutan? I thought more like a gorilla. Anyways, Gutt captured the heroes and asked them to join his crew...through a shanty. A short clip of the song is shown. Wiz : Obviously none of the hostages accepted leaving their home and families for sailing with Gutt. This triggered the primate's temper, making him ask them to walk the plank. Boomstick : The good news was that Manny and Diego the saber-tooth broke free, fought, destroyed the ship and everyone escaped. The bad news was that this pissed Gutt off so much, he regarded them all as mortal enemies. Wiz : On top of things, the protagonists along with some pirate-enslaved hyraxes later stole a second ship to sail home and the herd ended up befriending Gutt's crew member Shira, who was gradually rebelling against the captain. Boomstick : So a furious Gutt swore to destroy Manny and everything he loved. Wiz : For this, he reached the mainland before Manny did and with the help of his crew, held the mammoth's wife Ellie and his teenage daughter Peaches hostage. They were freed through a furious battle though - with Shira on their side now - which finalized with Gutt and Manny fighting on an iceberg. Boomstick : Gutt eventually was defeated, and then lured by a shapeshifting siren monster, which devoured him. Wiz : Seeing Gutt is a Gigantopeticus, it's safe to assume he's the same size as a real one, around 10 feet tall and 1,500 pounds in weight. Boomstick : That combined with his built gives him incredible strength! I mean, even for an ape! Wiz : His sheer power isn't surprising, considering modern day gorillas can lift up to 10 times their weight. But yeah, it's still crazy that he managed to push off himself Manny, who as you know is a fully-grown 11 ton woolly mammoth. And while swinging, he knocked the behemoth back with a big kick. Boomstick : His greatest strength feat however is simply insane! By applying all of his strength, he actually managed to bring a gigantic iceberg into the sea!!! Let me try something...I will push Wiz into the swimming pool. Wiz : Hey, stop it, you idiot! Anyways, Captain Gutt is fast too. A modern day gorilla can sprint up to 25 mph. Gutt can likely do considerably more due to his bigger strides and proportionally more slender built. Boomstick : And naturally as a gorilla, he can swing pretty awesome! Wiz : Not really, contrary to popular belief, gorillas are not really that expert swingers or athletes. However, considering Gutt is related to orangutans, he does share those abilities with his present day counterpart. Boomstick : Okay. But as if strength, speed, agility and athletism aren't enough, this primate's got a lot of weaponry. His infamous claws, for a start. Wiz : That's apparently how he got his title - I guess Gutt isn't his real name. Captain Gutt runs a claw down Sid's belly, making the sloth laugh ticklishly. Boomstick : The piratical primate use these claws to uh, gut his enemies. Brutal, yeah! Wiz : Scientifically inaccurate seeing apes have nails like us rather than razor-sharp looked claws. He can still use his fists and opposable thumbs, of course. Boomstick : Speaking of sharp stuff, this dude has got a bunch of giant sawfish-blade swords, knives of predator teeth, spears and log + ice cannons! Pirate indeed! He can use this stuff to fight some powerful foes! Wiz : With so much to dish out, the captain can also take a lot of things dished out to him. He tanked a pretty high fall for a start. He also survived a massive swinging kick from Peaches which sent him crashing into an ice wall. Boomstick : Also, at the end of the final battle, he was bashed by a big wooden chunk via Manny's trunk hard enough to be sent flying several dozen yards by Manny into water and lived! Apparently that hurt him pretty badly though. Wiz : Speaking of limits, Gutt is kinda cocky and tends to underestimate his opponent, and gloats about a lot, giving them time to get out of trouble. Boomstick : He's very greedy, and I guess he's got...oral hygiene issues? Wiz : And should his crew get overthrown, he's kinda helpless. Boomstick : But should you attract this ape's wrath, you are really in a fix. Gutt : In my ocean? What a terrible turn of events. I love a terrible turn of events. Heh, heh, heh, heh... Intermission Wiz : All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all. Boomstick : It's time for a death battle!!! Death battle (Partially written) The colds wilds drifted over the ocean. The air was misty. There was nothing to be heard besides the ever-sloshing waves of the sea and the occasional chirp of a seabird. There was nothing much to be seen... Until suddenly a tremendous floating object began to show itself through the mist. The intriguing noises of chattering and laughing individuals could be heard. As if to properly display the great object, the mist began to clear, while the sun's rays broke through the clouds above. One could now see that the object was a huge iceberg. But not just any iceberg. In truth, those mentioned laughing noises came from a large horde of prehistoric animals ranging from a Pleistocene wild hog to an insane-looking rabbit to a huge elephant seal riding the iceberg, which can safely be referred to as a ship. And then a giant black ape swung into view, hanging from a very large tree posing as the mast. He let go of the branch he was swinging on an landed in a large collection of all sorts of fruits. Captain Gutt chuckled as he lazily picked up a bunch of grapes and began guzzling it up while lounging. But the pirates were not the only trouble in the vicinity. Underwater, several metres below the ship, a group of harmless sardines was swimming and gulping up helpings of plankton and krill. Unfortunately, they never noticed the two dark, sleek shapes looming not more than 35 feet below them. One little sardine saw a particularly plump, red and juicy krill individual floating only a couple of inches away from him. Distracted and careless, he swam towards it without noticing the pair of sleek jaws rushing towards him. In an instant, he was snapped up. Noticing the danger, the other sardines began to scatter for their little lives, but it was too late. The two shapes wove in and out of the cloud of miniature fish, gobbling up sardine after sardine. By the time Cretaceous and Maelstrom looked up and took a good view of the huge mass floating above them at the surface, only a few precious sardines lived to scram and tell the tale. A grey-feathered sea bird flew to the iceberg ship. He stopped when he had reached his master Gutt. The other pirates noticed him and grinned : apparently their flying mate had just arrived with some good news. They were not disappointed. Gutt : Ah, my dear Silas. I believe you found something sweet today? ''Silas : Oh yes, my respected captain. I have just spoteed a fine little island a few hours north. We would find some -'' But before Silas could declare exactly what creatures the crew could potentially conquer and enslave and for what gain, a humongous reptilian beast burst out of the sea. It had greenish-blue scaly skin, devilish yellow eyes and a short, wide jaws. The pirates all got a moment for wearing dumbfounded, alarmed expressions on their faces before Maelstrom dropped and slammed hard into the edge of the ship, making a heavy thud reverberate through the air and inflicting a huge crack in the ice. The force of the impact shook the ship, making the pirates stumble about while yelling. Maelstrom splashed back into the waters. The sailing creatures had barely recovered from the shock when a second reptile shot out of the waves. This one was smaller and thinner than Maelstrom, with purple skin, long and sleek jaws and eyes just as yellow as those of his partner. Instead of re-entering the sea, Cretaceous landed right on the ship and snarled, making the crew members shriek in horror. He rampaged around causing the animals to scramble here and there, snapping his teeth and nearly getting multiple pirates in his grasp. Conclusion Advantages and disadvantages Polls Who are you rooting for? Cretaceous Captian Gutt Who do you think would win? 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